“I am a drinker with writing problems.”
- Brendan Behan
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BRB…adopting this dog from the SPCA for reasons……

BRB…adopting this dog from the SPCA for reasons……

Made this yesterday. I also added Italian seasoning. HOLY MOTHER!!!! It was incredible!!

tears-in-the-tardis:

sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’

image

but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’


image

(Source: beaconkils)

iamlucyspet:

garysgalaxy:

DAYUM SHE GOT THAT BOOTY THO

people that do this to their pets should be shot

(Source: lolgifs.net)

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

  • Tater chip cravings like I even give a shit about tater chips. wtf?

  • I remember when I thought FTW meant Fuck the What. 

  • My smoothies will never not look like I put muppets in the blender.

  • Someone told me there were noms leftover in the fridge from yesterday’s board meeting. The fridge only has frozen beets in it. Fuck you, co-worker.

  • Beets are way prettier than they taste.

  • My hair is huge today, I don’t have the confidence to not tie it back.

  • I have a toppings-less hamburger for lunch today because I forgot everything at home. I should eat it for breakfast and pretend it’s sausage. 

Someone tell Bowie he’s not people. He’s really sleeping like his alarm is gonna go off in 20 minutes…Like he has a 9-5…like he needs to stop at Starbucks for a half skim double soy non fat no whip venti latte while finishing his report for Mr. Borstein on his work laptop before his 10am board meeting. Sir, no.

Someone tell Bowie he’s not people. He’s really sleeping like his alarm is gonna go off in 20 minutes…Like he has a 9-5…like he needs to stop at Starbucks for a half skim double soy non fat no whip venti latte while finishing his report for Mr. Borstein on his work laptop before his 10am board meeting. Sir, no.

eluciidate:

this is how I would doctor

(Source: sandandglass)